Some light shopping.

One of the neat things about dating my new friend, Dean, is how she's at a juncture in her life where she's breaking barriers and opening herself up to things she's sought, desired, fantasized about for some time. She has that in common with the Schoolteacher, but unlike her, Dean doesn't have an uberconservative "real life" that would be endangered if, say, someone saw her nekkid ass on FetLife. This, with her own go-gettedness, seems to give Dean a vigour as she pursues her more prurient interests.

And I seem to be the kind of guy that such women enjoy dating. I can handle that.

Before stopping for a nibble in the Gaybourhood recently, we rubbed elbows among this city's sensual, leather elite during Northbound Leather's latest meet&greet social. I had picked up an an excellent leather shirt and Top-standard-issue officer's cap during last visit at one, and many has been the time I've smiled to myself while spotting Northbound's wares in sex shops and during fetish events while travelling in the States. Having this glorious temple to kinkdom in one's home city is a lot of fun.

Dean made a beeline for the corsets, and selected a very sexy black leather halter that framed her 36Ds sensually. Followed by a black (it's always black with Dean) waist cincher, she made happy smiles for the rest of the night.

Me, I was in nirvana. I wasn't really planning on shopping for myself... oopsie. Northbound is one of those places where you'd never expect a "bargain basement" vibe; it's simply too elegant, too upscale, too sophisticated. But between sips of wine, winks with Dean, and glances at our staffperson in the sexy PVC nurse uniform, this particular meet&greet included irresistable, almost below-wholesale opportunities to get some goodies:

o A pair of unforgiving, 5mm thick, 40mm wide, solid aluminum, bolt-secured collars later, and I was hunting for pairs of ankle and wrist restraints to match. Oh, how these will feel after I remove them from the freezer! Some forgivable scratches and pits. Standard retail? $350 Canadian.

o A 7.5cm wide, jaw-raising black leather collar with triple D-rings, perfect for affixing wrists just at the neck, also 5mm thick, and complete with padlock and keys to secure with. A little wear, as though it has been affixed to a wall display or secured on a mannequin. At least $90 CA.

o A deliciously ominous head harness featuring a studded, 25mm wide, 3cm deep open-mouth tube gag made from leather-covered aluminum. I would have been happier had the gag been wide enough to slide some cock through, but this is suitable for pouring liquids with a funnel. The leather needs some moisturizing, but nothing more than standard care would call for. Regularly $140 CA.

o And the two most unique finds of the evening, definitely from the "so inexpensive, how could you go wrong?" category: a pair of gas masks. The first is clearly from US or NATO military surplus: a black latex rubber, pig-jowled beast with goggle eyes, the sort of thing you'd expect to see your friendly neighbourhood riot police to be wearing. The second is much sleeker: a black rubber MSA full-face respirator with bold aluminum faceplate framing, probably intended for safety while working with chemicals or other caustic substances. Both masks lack filter canisters or tubing, but that's easily amended. In conservative doses with a willing partner, I imagine that a little smoke would make for a fun scene, and when I'm not being kinky, now I'm ready for a casual chat with the World Trade Organization. $70 CA each.

I'm due to review a toychest soon, so it was fun to pick up some new items to fill it with. I spent just under $150 Canadian on all of these fun and bizarre trinkets. I am a happy kinkster.

Retail therapy.

Not to be entirely restrained by even the most tragic of events, I sought solace in charming decadence. I found it when the last of a half-dozen Prince Edward Island malpeque oysters slid easily down my eager throat, followed by a cold sip of Smirnoff Ice, and as my eyes enjoyed the shaven quim of a cute blonde getting soundly pounded on a big screen. Milling around me were couples of all bodytypes and adult age brackets, throughly enjoying the scores the vendors adjacent to this little gypsy bistro set in the middle of the convention centre. I smiled to myself as I waited in line behind a pair of long-haired women who were so very into one another. I smirked saucily as the various inter-racial couples passed me in the crowd (always the mental picture of the-her sucking the-him). I tiled my view to the side and grinned as I enjoyed the fashion sense, or the laughter, or the shy discovery in the eyes of others.

But truly, it was a stroke of genius to have oysters available at the 2008 Everything To Do With Sex Show. I was almost glad that neither Shayne nor Morgan were with me... I would have had to share. Oh, and how the eye candy abounded.

While this trade show has been larger and more comprehensive in previous years, it was still a good night out. Being among thousands of sex-positive people always put me in a good mood, especially when there's a sexy rubensque brunette or a bodypainted redhead smiling from behind a vendor booth in my direction. Featured events included the ribald and fun Got Ass? competition, and an excellent workshop on G-spots from Good For Her founder Carlyle Jansen. It's fabulous when I get to learn new details about stuff I love to do with a partner: you're never so experienced that there isn't something more to learn.

But the entire point of a trade show is the trading. Scoping through the aisles of vendor booths, I unsuccessfully hoped to find some networking or other resource group for sex-positive bloggers (subtle hint, subtle hint, Catalina...), but I did spot some excellent gems among the stacks of adult DVDs, lingerie shoppes, clothiers, bedsheet manufacturers, condom retailers, erotic bakeries, dominatrices, and... um... hot sauce makers.

The glaziers at Love Style makes some of the most elegant and interesting handmade pyrex glass dildos I think I have ever seen. Each piece a work of art, and I could easily have spent money there had I not been attending this event stag. (Bend over, Shayne.)

Body jewellers Maracuja & Co. fashion some unique and beautifully elegant silver and gold works for enhancing the breasts, ankles, waist, cock, and more. If Santa is reading, I'm partial to their Anneau Heurtoir (Argent) cockring...

The carpenters and cabinetmakers at Rouge River Woodworks have an excellent and fun sideline. When these guys aren't planing and staining your mother-in-law's new bookcase (ho hum!), their alter-ego as Porte Rouge is plotting for ways to magically convert that same bookcase into your next bondage rack (hot damn!). A coffee table? Now it's a dual restraint system. An end table? Now it's a spanking bench. Their wooden paddles also feature a charming country, neo-Amish or frathouse feel to them, and I'm certain I'll be adding some to my collection soon now. (Bend over, Morgan.)

For me, I learned a long time ago that finding superior floggers is like finding the right kind of spice. Sure, I can use any ol' supermarket blend of chili powder to make pollo mole, but why skimp when I know this little place that has the best ancho chili in town? Most mass-produced floggers seem to feature the leather strips that are secured onto wooden or leather-covered PVC handles with grommets or, worse, staples.

The geniuses at Kitchener-based Kaos Floggers blew me away. Not since my clubbing days had I seen steel swivel-based flogging tools fashioned with buttery-soft leather strips and braids. Add to that their collection of horsehair whips, the likes of which I hadn't seen in many years. I only made one purchase during my trip to the Sex Show this year, and it was for one of Kaos' handsomely made horsehairs, a 17-inch black beauty with a wrapped-leatherstrip and lead crystal pommel. Perhaps I've been looking in all thr wrong places all these years, but finding Kaos felt like a goal achieved.

A treat also to meet some of my region's adult performers, including fetish diva Maxine X, buxom pro-amateur Amazon Carrie Moon, burlesque starlet Sienna Sinclaire, and a few very bored Suicide Girls. I was warmed by the erotic art of Jocelyn Parenteau, and eye-rollingly amused by the vibes from the Wicked Club staff and the "Canadian Ass Man," Uncle D.

Finally, the last high point for me was getting to shake some hands and network with kinksters in my area. It's always intrigued me that, for all of our collective mystique at being bad to the bone, bdsm enthusiasts are just the friendliest people. A special wing of the trade show featured an active dungeon area where the kinksters and the kurious alike enjoyed viewing an assortment of play. A large rope spiderweb had captured its victim, a sensual blonde BBW who enjoyably endured the attention of her Top. A spanking bench was graced by a laughing jeans-clad brunette as she experienced her first light paddling, much to the amusement of her girlfriends. The cracks of a bullwhip echoed throughout the hall. Outside the dungeon area, a like-minded vendor demonstrated a combination rack/swing device with a so-very-willing partner. The folks from the EhBC and Deviant Toronto networks were cordial and relaxed as we talked shop and upcoming events such as Tease 2009 and Fet Fair.

Strolling back to my pad through the rain, my evening concluded with a serendipitous little moment of fun. Passing an apartment complex, I had looked up at just the right time to fully view an attractive brunette, topless, watering plants near her parlor window. It made me smile as I crossed railroad tracks and called it a night.

The heart of darkness.

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Be still my heart.

Having just cited and shared a sexy photo released in my local newspaper, I can't resist but share another that crossed my path today, from the pages of NOW, as this city prepares for Pride 2008.

I've never met this gorgeous creature in the flesh, but have encountered her on other internet social sites. I've also seen her model for MissBehav'N, one of Toronto's kitschier sex-positive retail stores.

Personally, I think she is one of the sexiest women in this city.


thumb NOW

To market, to market, to buy a plum bum.

Every now and then, I enjoy taking a tour of sorts of some of the sex-positive (or at least, sex-commercial) businesses in my area. Maybe I'm trying to relive the days of when I worked for the Pink Pussycat or Adult Movie Warehouse. I was broke in those days and doing work most would call "bottom tier," but damn did I ever have fun.

Naturally, I went shopping for Shayne. Now and then I like to make "care packages" to send her that usually contain fun little things, stuff we happen to be talking about, whatever. Smut. At the fabulous sexshop cooperative near me I bought Belladonna's Evil Pink 2, mostly because I think Shayne'll enjoy the behind-the-scenes elements and Keeani Lei with Belladonna in schoolgirl uniforms. A cute little sex comic from Eros for her completed my purchase, although I admit to having been a little intrigued by the boy toys too.

Do I want to try the Fleshlight sometime? Could be fun. And that blowjob suction thing looked like it might actually work well. Hrm. It's tough to get good cock toys, you know.

I especially enjoyed how the amazingly hot, short-haired, deliciously dyky associate in the store smirked a lot as I shopped. Another lovely associate was assisting me, and in explaining Shayne's interests, I mentioned that I was shopping for 'a friend.' Was she smirking because I, a man, was obviously looking for lesbian porn? "Fucking typical." Did she suppose my story of shopping for 'a friend' was a lame come-on? "Yeah, sure you are, dude." Or was she enjoying the idea of how I, as a man, was buying lesbian porn for my (virtually-) lesbian friend in another city, thus being the cosmopolitan kinda guy I believe I am at heart? "Whatever, dude, nothing surprises me anymore."

I really should talk with Deliciously Dyky sometime. Her vibe actually makes me nervous-in-the-good-way.

(And a word on lesbian porn: gentlemen (for those of you of either gender who are gentlemen), don't think for one moment that most of what's on the market (including Evil Pink 2) is a truthful representation of the glorious world of womenlust. It ain't. But my thoughts on the sexual politics of the adult entertainment industry will wait.)

From there I found myself getting Shayne some Asian skin mags at another (and far more kitschytacky) shop. Then on to what has to be the sleaziest, dirtiest adult DVD outlet in my city... but the prices are so agreeable. It's like going to one of those discount houseware outlets in the 'wrong side' of town, where the kids are screaming over their McDonald's bags while stressed out mothers are balancing the baby with the jumbo sized laundry detergent. Except here, the kids are grungy men wandering in stoic silence, avoiding eye contact with one another, and the mothers are the bored, equally grungy immigrant workers vainly trying to keep the no-less-grungy street people out.

Clue-by-four: This is not sexy. I appreciate how sleazy places can have its own element of hotness in the right context, but really, this place is way off the Skeeve-O-Meter. No, really.

So why then do I buy a three-dollar ticket to pass through the dirty black plastic shower curtain and into the room full of mismatched chairs to see the porn movie playing?

Duh. Because I can.

I watch one or two scenes featuring women with tramp stamps having totally unexcited sex with solidly buff but boringly mechanical men. It isn't long before I text Shayne.

Me: Why do men in porn films seem to be inept at sucking pussy?
Shayne: Good question. Maybe youre just a pussy sucking god
Me: Oh, don't tease me, you meanie.
Shayne: I'm not!

I decide to check out two of the other porn places I know of. One because it's nearby, and the other because it's about to close down and is the last actual movie theatre porn palace left in this city. The VHS/DVD/Internet porn revolution has its victims. I ask myself if I'm in the mood to let a guy blow me: both places occasionally present that option.

But, no. Apart from some decent interracial smut at both places (I really do enjoy watching women suck black cock, I admit it), I called it a night.