Guy talk.

"I love a woman with a big ass," he shouts into my ear. For a fleeting moment, he makes me think of the Grrl. The guitarist leaves the stage and stands not three feet from where we're enjoying our beers.

My friend, the Bodybuilder, and me are checking out Bare Rump, a local AC/DC tribute band, at one of Toronto's better bluecollar dive bars. Before the show, the married tomboy with the Gibson SG (who fully dresses the Angus Young/school uniform role) hung out with us when she overheard me talking to the Bodybuilder about the band. She playfully griped when it came time for her to change into costume, but said she 'would do it for me.' I told her it would "give me something to think about later." She smirked when she left.

She's eventually standing near me, grinding Who Made Who behind my shoulder, when I realize Bodybuilder is looking in my direction but isn't watching the performance. This happens again after the show while we're talking over our beers and spicy wings.

Behind me is a broadshouldered, muscularly thick longhaired blonde in a sundress. After her bronzed and radiant face, it's her bare thighs sauntering from under the dress that I notice, and I'm smiling when I turn back to my buddy to suggest that she's checking him out too.

Bodybuilder is in a fix, and one of the reasons we're out is so he can have a chance to vent and process things in his personal world. He's been a happily 10+ years married, monogamous, regular kind o'guy, and his world was rocked when he discovered that his loving wife was finding some additional fun on the side. He comes to me because he knows that I'm discrete (apart from the fact that, yeah, fine, ok, I'm blogging about this) and likes my counsel. But Bodybuilder and me are often on different pages when it comes to sex. I make his innocent jaw drop, so I can only guess what he'd think if he had even a small inkling about the sordid, ribald past that has privileged me with the seditious perspectives that I've developed.

He and the wife are Working It Out, though this is after she Had Her Fun with Her Friend. In time (i.e., apparently after she took Her Friend's cock out of her mouth long enough to really think), she started to wake up to What She Was Risking To Lose. Now she's dealing with his Conditions and he's moved back home, but in the interim, Bodybuilder had also tasted a little Freedom of his own and is beginning to discover His Choices. I made sure that, in his hiatus from home, yes, he had gotten laid.

Although he actually blushed when I asked.

Maybe it was the beer.

But me, I'm supporting my friend with whatever direction he chooses to pursue in this. On one hand, he does want to work it out with his wife, and who can tell him he shouldn't? Yes, true, being that they were/are/were monogamous, there definitely was a betrayal of trust involved at the very least. But if he really has the heart to look past that, well, hey. Sometimes Cupid uses broadheads.

And I must admit that part of me, when Bodybuilder first told me about this, related to the wife. Wife wanted some spark, some fire, and that sexual need eventually overcame whatever restrictions she had been abiding by in the relationship. God knows Bodybuilder isn't even remotely kinky, and I'd be surprised if he were experimental in general. So, yeah, I grokked her needs.

Part of me even thought it was kind of hot.

Maybe it was the beer.

Ok, no, it wasn't the beer. It's kind of hot.

Of course, in my brain, all this could potentially be solved with a little Polyamory 101, a small dose of introductory compersion, a few good adventurous orgasms to break the ice, and a lot of slow and easy perspective shifting. For that matter, their monogamy needn't be compromised either: with some patient listening and imagination, Bodybuilder can also explore the fantasies his wife has so that she can get a taste of candy too. But, alas, Bodybuilder is a "nice guy." "Normal."

So, my prediction is that It's Not Gonna Work. Seems to me that if Mrs. Bodybuilder has fantasies (or at least interests) that they don't share, and if she's is willing to risk what traditional household stability Bodybuilder provided (and he did) to get her fantasies achieved, and if Bodybuilder doesn't want to consider expanding his psycho-sexual repetoire to possibly find hot&sexy common ground with his wife... well, then that's all she wrote, isn't it? In the end, she wants something that she's not finding in the relationship, and he's not willing to consider broadening his horizons.

The next day, I checked in with him by text.

Me: "Dude, I still say you should have done something about the big-assed blonde. She was so checking you out."

Bodybuilder: "Was thinking about it!"

Me: "And she had thighs like Mary Lou Retton."

Bodybuilder: "I like!"