Retail therapy.

Not to be entirely restrained by even the most tragic of events, I sought solace in charming decadence. I found it when the last of a half-dozen Prince Edward Island malpeque oysters slid easily down my eager throat, followed by a cold sip of Smirnoff Ice, and as my eyes enjoyed the shaven quim of a cute blonde getting soundly pounded on a big screen. Milling around me were couples of all bodytypes and adult age brackets, throughly enjoying the scores the vendors adjacent to this little gypsy bistro set in the middle of the convention centre. I smiled to myself as I waited in line behind a pair of long-haired women who were so very into one another. I smirked saucily as the various inter-racial couples passed me in the crowd (always the mental picture of the-her sucking the-him). I tiled my view to the side and grinned as I enjoyed the fashion sense, or the laughter, or the shy discovery in the eyes of others.

But truly, it was a stroke of genius to have oysters available at the 2008 Everything To Do With Sex Show. I was almost glad that neither Shayne nor Morgan were with me... I would have had to share. Oh, and how the eye candy abounded.

While this trade show has been larger and more comprehensive in previous years, it was still a good night out. Being among thousands of sex-positive people always put me in a good mood, especially when there's a sexy rubensque brunette or a bodypainted redhead smiling from behind a vendor booth in my direction. Featured events included the ribald and fun Got Ass? competition, and an excellent workshop on G-spots from Good For Her founder Carlyle Jansen. It's fabulous when I get to learn new details about stuff I love to do with a partner: you're never so experienced that there isn't something more to learn.

But the entire point of a trade show is the trading. Scoping through the aisles of vendor booths, I unsuccessfully hoped to find some networking or other resource group for sex-positive bloggers (subtle hint, subtle hint, Catalina...), but I did spot some excellent gems among the stacks of adult DVDs, lingerie shoppes, clothiers, bedsheet manufacturers, condom retailers, erotic bakeries, dominatrices, and... um... hot sauce makers.

The glaziers at Love Style makes some of the most elegant and interesting handmade pyrex glass dildos I think I have ever seen. Each piece a work of art, and I could easily have spent money there had I not been attending this event stag. (Bend over, Shayne.)

Body jewellers Maracuja & Co. fashion some unique and beautifully elegant silver and gold works for enhancing the breasts, ankles, waist, cock, and more. If Santa is reading, I'm partial to their Anneau Heurtoir (Argent) cockring...

The carpenters and cabinetmakers at Rouge River Woodworks have an excellent and fun sideline. When these guys aren't planing and staining your mother-in-law's new bookcase (ho hum!), their alter-ego as Porte Rouge is plotting for ways to magically convert that same bookcase into your next bondage rack (hot damn!). A coffee table? Now it's a dual restraint system. An end table? Now it's a spanking bench. Their wooden paddles also feature a charming country, neo-Amish or frathouse feel to them, and I'm certain I'll be adding some to my collection soon now. (Bend over, Morgan.)

For me, I learned a long time ago that finding superior floggers is like finding the right kind of spice. Sure, I can use any ol' supermarket blend of chili powder to make pollo mole, but why skimp when I know this little place that has the best ancho chili in town? Most mass-produced floggers seem to feature the leather strips that are secured onto wooden or leather-covered PVC handles with grommets or, worse, staples.

The geniuses at Kitchener-based Kaos Floggers blew me away. Not since my clubbing days had I seen steel swivel-based flogging tools fashioned with buttery-soft leather strips and braids. Add to that their collection of horsehair whips, the likes of which I hadn't seen in many years. I only made one purchase during my trip to the Sex Show this year, and it was for one of Kaos' handsomely made horsehairs, a 17-inch black beauty with a wrapped-leatherstrip and lead crystal pommel. Perhaps I've been looking in all thr wrong places all these years, but finding Kaos felt like a goal achieved.

A treat also to meet some of my region's adult performers, including fetish diva Maxine X, buxom pro-amateur Amazon Carrie Moon, burlesque starlet Sienna Sinclaire, and a few very bored Suicide Girls. I was warmed by the erotic art of Jocelyn Parenteau, and eye-rollingly amused by the vibes from the Wicked Club staff and the "Canadian Ass Man," Uncle D.

Finally, the last high point for me was getting to shake some hands and network with kinksters in my area. It's always intrigued me that, for all of our collective mystique at being bad to the bone, bdsm enthusiasts are just the friendliest people. A special wing of the trade show featured an active dungeon area where the kinksters and the kurious alike enjoyed viewing an assortment of play. A large rope spiderweb had captured its victim, a sensual blonde BBW who enjoyably endured the attention of her Top. A spanking bench was graced by a laughing jeans-clad brunette as she experienced her first light paddling, much to the amusement of her girlfriends. The cracks of a bullwhip echoed throughout the hall. Outside the dungeon area, a like-minded vendor demonstrated a combination rack/swing device with a so-very-willing partner. The folks from the EhBC and Deviant Toronto networks were cordial and relaxed as we talked shop and upcoming events such as Tease 2009 and Fet Fair.

Strolling back to my pad through the rain, my evening concluded with a serendipitous little moment of fun. Passing an apartment complex, I had looked up at just the right time to fully view an attractive brunette, topless, watering plants near her parlor window. It made me smile as I crossed railroad tracks and called it a night.