Musings in Brooklyn.

The Fates have brought me back to Brooklyn.

I've been here, back home, for a little more than a week. While the reasons that brought me here are not particularly pleasant, I've somehow still managed to enjoy some of the better memories about the ol' neighborhood.

o Roxanne was a tiny, longhaired, petite brunette who was among the entourage of the local band, Jail Bait, that friends of mine were part of. We were in Tony's place (ok, his parents' place), sucking down Molson's and being totally amused with both Tony's minah bird and his excellent Eddie VanHalen renditions. Later duting that party, we relaxed on a double bed as I caressed her arms, then her back, and gradually her tiny Sergio Valente-clad ass with just a fingertip. It was fairly innocent, experimental, discovery-based play really, but I remember how she made me incredibly hot. She was shy and quiet, but it became clear to me later how much she enjoyed the attention when I walked her home from the party. As we strolled (stumbled?) down the middle of the street, she turned and laid one nice, endearing kiss on my lips. It might not have been my First Kiss, but it was definitely among the most memorable of them. Why didn't I pursue thing further with her?

o In my mother's apartment, in what was once the bedroom I shared with her, I'm reminded of the time a hot brunette picked me up at my best friend's party in another apartment. I was around eighteen, we were hammered, and my mother had fallen asleep on the living room couch. I wasn't as confident in myself then as I am now (find me one teenager who completely is), and I was dumbfounded that this hot girl was into me. Desperately trying to stay quiet, we made out on my mother's bed until she awoke, which spooked the girl off. I never saw or heard from her again, and Mom gave me a fingerwag about how I "should have taken her to a motel." Me, I figured having her in my home was 'classier,' but what did I know.

o Mandy, a sexy Puertorriqueña with curly dark locks, was one of my girlfriends from high school. I remember creating an eerily sensual setting for us in the projection room at school, a hidden alcove situated in the balcony area of the massive auditorium. The code for kids in-the-know was that if a wire coat-hanger hung on the doorknob, the room was "in use." After affixing one, I had set dozens upon dozens of tealights throughout its shelves. With the projection equipment, antique 78's, and rolls of movie film, the candlelight made for a bizarre ambience for our necking session. I went down on her. She chickened out on going down on me. Later that year however, and also back at my mother's apartment, she gave it a try and discovered how she liked it. She was also the first girlfriend I enjoying taking seminude and nude photos of, although those images are long since gone now.

o B.J. (yes, that was her name) was a casual friend from high school. We rode the R train together to DeKalb Avenue every day, but I had no idea she was also into me until the day she invited me back to her family's 69th Street apartment. Her face was totally straight when she suggested this, and never had we been flirty with one another, so I was utterly clueless that she had something hot in mind. Arriving at the apartment, her father was practicing the piano as we hung in her room. B.J. stunned me then as she produced a jar of honey and bade me to relax on the floor. Asking me to remove my pants, she coated me with its stickysweetness as she introduced herself to cocksucking. Naturally, we were a nervous wreck since her father was close by... until we realized that as long as we heard the piano, B.J. was safely free to BJ. What it was that she enjoyed about having a mouthful more of honey than my flesh is something I've long pondered over.

Naturally, being here again also reminds me of Jackie. Walking along Third Avenue yesterday, I passed the deli where I was deliciously serviced by an anonymous blonde. I think of how my coming-of-age was elicited quickly as my sexlife skyrocketed from nil to nihilistic between ages seventeen and eighteen.

There's no sexuality for me here this time, for this trip. I have reconnected with a cousin (yes, you read that right) who, honestly, I had pre-adolescent hots for when we were kids, and whom I still find to be amazingly sexy... and at least one doctor and a few nurses I've met lately have cast me some bright smiles... but the reasons I'm here right now aren't exactly the stuff of sexblogging.

Yet sex is the power of life, the visceral timbre of creation and happiness. At this moment, the power of life feels particularly precious.